Nathan Lee

Some of you may have heard us talking over the last few months about the imminent release of our debut EP looming ominously overhead, like a colossal, ancient bird of prey.

Well, so it seemed. But as time went on, imminent shrank down to impending, which reduced to approaching, which became coming and finally landed at eventual.

You see, we hit an unforeseen snag. We had the songs downpat, the ARIA speeches written and the phones at the ready to accept our congratulatory call from Satan Himself, but there was something we overlooked in all the mayhem...

WE GOTS NO MONEY, DAWG!!

We came to the realization that studios, mastering houses and CD manufacturers require cash money, and without payment of some sort they simply won't work for us, the uncharitable bastards!

You might be thinking "Well, why don't you layabouts get a job?"

Well, good question, and it's a fairly long and complex answer, but it boils down to this: would you hire Nathan?

Yeah, exactly.

Tim is similarly unemployable, though far better looking. G and Lach do in fact have jobs, but Lachlan is an extravagant spendthrift and Gordon has a gambling problem.

So, we are left with only one option: to throw ourselves on the mercy of your collective benevolence/malevolence.

We are offering a range of pledge packages through Pozible in a bid to get the project back off the ground and into your hands in short order.

Our most basic $10 pack gets you a physical copy of the CD at release, with your name included in thanks in the liner notes, as well as a personalized letter of gratitude from the band.

Beyond this pack, we offer several other basic packs that will get you an extra disk of EP off-cuts (awesome off-cuts, we swear), entry to future shows and even a slick Hypergiant T-Shirt that will make you more attractive to the opposite sex, same sex, plants, animals, and traffic lights looking for that special someone.

Our $60 intermediate pack includes all of the basic pack features, as well as a personalized song written and recorded by us, about you and your various heroic deeds, in a genre of your choice. Rap, 80's power ballad, brutal goregrind, whatever you please. Alternative subjects may be suggested.

This brings us to the premium packs. These packs include all of the below features, as well as a couple of special ones, ranging from personalized free shows at your next party to sexy car-washes, semi-nude calendars, slavery and permanent defacement of Nathan's body.

Finally, we have our Grand Double-Awesome Pack. This bad-boy will get you 2 CD's, a T-Shirt, a customized song, your letter of thanks, your choice of 2 of the premium options and free entry to all future Hypergiant events for life, all for the disgustingly low price of $150!!!

So, if you feel like helping us out, sling a couple of bucks our way. You'll get a kick-ass record out of it and have our eternal gratitude for helping us get one step closer to world domination. By that, I mean when we're in control of all of Earth's governments, we'll remember your service and will spare you. On the flipside, if you dislike us personally, make sure you choose one of the more expensive options, so you can get us to do a bunch of degrading shit for your amusement.

Cheers folks, see you when the record is done

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Nathan
Tim
Gordon
Lachlan