'Become a Functional Adult' Tour
Internet Hug
We give you a personal thankyou on Facebook so everyone on the internet knows you’re generous and good-looking and support the arts.
You've Got Mail
As well as an internet hug, you’ll get a personalized thankyou card in the post that you can sell on eBay years from now when we get famous!
Written Recommendation
Got a job interview or first date coming up? Or just want to convince people you’re awesome? I’ll write you a highly professional written recommendation using facts about you that are entirely made up! We’ll send it in the post AND put it out on Facebook, so everyone can learn about your incredible mountain climbing feats and charity work rescuing kittens from house fires (also includes an Internet hug).
Jolly Good Show
All of the above + two tickets to any night of our homecoming Perth Season in September! We're coming back to Lazy Susan's Comedy Den for an exclusive season between the Sydney and Melbourne Fringe Festivals, and we’ll reserve a spot just for you!
Adulthood Certificate
All of the above + An official certificate addressed to you from the Mature Learning Institute recognizing you as a proper Functional Adult! It’s laminated so it cannot be destroyed by tears or alcohol! Hang it on the mantelpiece and prove your parents wrong!
Dance Tribute
All of the above + I’ll put on my good unitard and express my immense gratitude for your generosity through interpretive dance! I’ll make a video of myself dancing to the song of your choice and send it your way through the power of the internet! Feel free to dedicate it to a loved one or sworn enemy!
Parlour of Generosity
As the most functional of adults of all, you’ll get all of the above rewards plus an exclusive invitation to join me for a beverage after the show in Sydney, Perth, or Melbourne, where I shall shower you with praise for helping make dreams come true!