$10 donation will get you a signed picture of one of the possums. The picture will likely be signed by me unless the military school teaches the possums to sign their own names, then you can chose to have the picture signed by either myself or the possum. (Picture will just be emailed - and likely just off google. (We cant risk the identity of our soldiers being compromised))

$25 will get you a copy of the book "Possum Magic". NOTE: This is not the kids book Possum Magic, but a book about possum war strategies with the same title. The book will be written by me (possibly with possum help if they were infact taught to write during training) and will be based on military conquests the possum army achieves. In the unlikely event my army is defeated you will receive a call from me (or a trained possum) playing The Last Post down the phone for you to record as a ringtone

$50 donations will all receive a beating by the possums of a bully or enemy of your choice. Please only select actual bullies. If the possums feel you have just picked a random child or a grandma they may turn on you. I only instill the highest morale code to my army of renegade possum-soldiers.

For $100 donations the possums will attack and kill any person you want. I know I just said they had a morale code, but if you're gonna chuck in $100 thats a heap of coin and there's honestly not much else the possums can do for you. Please keep your murders to a vicinity of 10 kms from the melbourne cbd. I already checked and renting a bus to transport 40,000 possums costs more than $100. Be cool guys.

$250 the possums will takeover any part of the city you like and rename it whatever you want. North Melbourne for example could be invaded and renamed "South Melbourne" This is just an example and a free brainstorming session with the more creative possums will likely lead to a better/more satisfying outcome. Note: If someone has already taken a suburb please respect their new name and don't simply re-invade and put in a new one. Possums get tired easily and it could just go on forever..

For $500 the possums will perform a song and dance routine of your chosing, thailand prisoner style. This is $500 because as soldiers the possums will really be out of their comfort zones on this one, so even though its cute try and be mindful. They will likely have seen a lot of traumatic things, so the last thing they want to do is a super complicated beyonce number. 40,000 possums doing the nutbush should be entertaining enough..

For $1000 the possums will solve any world crisis of your choosing. Whether it be stopping illegal sex trafficking, preventing the export of blood diamonds, or killing and reversing all the damage Kony (2012) did, these possums will get the job done. No issue is too big, for what I expect to be the world's greatest Possum Army. So why not spend $1000 and have a team of 40,000 possums fix the world

For $10,000 you can be a General in the world's greatest army. We will train up and put you in command of up to 17,000 possum soldiers or your very own! Your unit will be located at Edinburgh gardens and can be given any order you chose. Use them to take down any overly obnoxious hipsters or kill anyone with a yo-ho diablo. Totally up to you. Also you get a free watch I got in a showbag (and an empty showbag)